Mother’s Day always brings a time of reflection for me and how I’m doing in this parenting thing.
It seems that many times life can be more of a game of survival than living than the dream. Anyone else relate?
Survival is where I’ve been for the last few years. Honest to God. Years.
When my my mom and sister were here recently, they helped clean out some cabinets. I apologized that things were in such disarray. My mom simply responded that I had other things I’d been taking care of that were more important than cleaning cabinets. So much truth in that statement.
I’ve been trying to manage a full-time, then part-time, then per diem nursing job while my husband is going to school full-time and job hunting. Our oldest is finishing high school this year. And those youngest three, well, we homeschool. Not to mention the countless other things that fill my plate every day. Needless to say, cleaning cabinets had lost its priority in the grand scheme of survival mode.
The priority instead has been work, homeschooling, and the daily stuff like meals and laundry. And honestly, that is about it.
Oh, the house gets picked up, but cleaning is sporadic. My kids spend way too much time in front of screens. And I mean way too much time. Chore charts are a distant memory. Family dinners around the table are a scarcity. We’ve had breakfast or “free night” for dinner more often than I care to admit most weeks. And this laundry queen is more often behind than ahead of that giant pile. Survival.
But it’s more than that. It’s the hard stuff that is happening internally too – the poor attitudes, ungratefulness, and the hurrying through everything that also infects everything we do.
“Just get through the day” has become the mantra.
And that is OK. It’s the season I have been in. It just is what it is. No judgment. No condemnation.
But there comes a time when you need need more than survival mode. This Bell’s thing has made my husband and I realize that our family needs a reset. In fact, he is the one who said it to me. One night before bed, I was telling him how this downtime has made me acutely aware of how out of sync everything is at home. His response: “We need to reset.”
It was like a lightbulb moment for both us that life has been spinning out of control at home. And we are in serious need of just getting back to the basics – family dinners, regular church attendance, chores, consistent discipline, and a routine. And for my family that means I need to be at home.
Sometimes I forget how truly important the role of being a mother is. I forget that what I do at home is meaningful and significant to my family. It matters.
Stopping to listen to a story or play a game of UNO when my children ask shows them I care about what they are saying, and I have time for them.
Having regular chores to do keeps the house in order but also teaches my kids the value of hard work and what it means to be part of a family.
Taking the time to deal with those less than desirable attitudes shows my kids that I care about their hearts and what is going on in their lives.
Reading aloud at bedtime is hopefully creating wonderful memories and a love of books.
And the list could go on. So that is what we are working on as a family. And I consider it another blessing during this time – a time to reset, to regroup, and reclaim our family life.
Blessings ~ Darcy